Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I did not marry a roomba.
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