I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No subtext here. People are naked.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
