Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Tornado booty call.. dedication
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
