Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
