I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
