So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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