well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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