I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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