i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
