If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Boobs are out for the taking
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
