Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
