This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
she peed on how many people?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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