my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
