my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
