alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
