Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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