he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize