Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
so let's talk penis.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
