Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
as a side note pls kill me
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
