Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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