Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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