dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
