She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize