nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
