If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
