Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
