Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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