oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
