She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
either way he was missing a nipple.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
