Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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