My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
