PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
