Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
