Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
