I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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