I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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