You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize