Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
3pm strippers are depressing
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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