Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
