yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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