So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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