it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
