just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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