I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
