Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
