i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
