I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You have to summon your inner elephant
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
