Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize