I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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