Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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