It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
