Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
