just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
