Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Four minutes until I can fart!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How external is "for external use only"?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
