I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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