i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
