I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
