real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize