Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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