thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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