I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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