he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
