The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
