YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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