you guys were way drunker than both of me
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
