my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
