plz talk dirty to me
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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