You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
