If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
