you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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