If i come over, it means nothing
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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