I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
