..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
