ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
