I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
