You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
