I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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