i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
