Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My breasts were aching with rage.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
