haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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