I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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