there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
