he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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