bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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