The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
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