a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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