So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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